Poop Sucks
I know I whine about it on a daily basis, but really, summer vacation. I am so over it. I mean it this time. I actually laid in bed last night and cried. I am a big baby, I know it.
Aivlene has a monster case of diarrhea. Monster. She is newly-potty trained, so it is very important to her to actually, you know, poop on the potty. I have spent 4556666 hours in all three of my bathrooms since Monday. I also have a bad case of "Phantom Poop Smells", where I think I smell poop. My daughter, she smells like the monkey house at the zoo. She is a miserable mess and I feel so bad for her. She won't eat, she's cranky and poops a lot.
The boys have been cooped up since Aivlene is on Deathly Diarrhea Watch 2008. They are going a bit stir-crazy and I am too. I am sick of reading, Little Bear, Caillou and Dora. I was desperate for ideas yesterday, so I pretended the kids were dogs and I was their trainer. I made them do tricks for marshmallows. I rock. I need to leave this house ASAP. I keep hoping Disney will call and sponsor me a trip, like an adult Make-A-Wish, except there is nothing wrong with me, other than an intolerance to summer vacation and that I smell poop. I have given up on Disney, but if the Borough of Stone Harbor wants to sponsor my family for a week, I will give a blow-by-blow of my vacation on my blog. I know it's not really going to happen, but I can dream...right? It is also very, very hot out. I don't like hot, it makes my hair frizz.
I am leaving Jon with three kids, The Emo, The Terror and The Poop Queen while I go to work, to say I am mildly excited about going to work tonight is an understatement.